The One-Year Mark

So I've officially been in site for one year. It's kind of crazy. Leading up to the one year mark, my attitude was pretty optimistic, with most of my thoughts being, “Wow, I can't believe it's been a year already! Time goes by so fast!” Now that I've passed the one-year mark, though, my thoughts have turned a little darker. It's only been a year? It's only been half of my time? I still have another whole year left?! Time is a really weird concept here. Sometimes it feels like it flies by and other times it crawls. With no change of seasons or daylight savings time, every day kind of seems like the last.

I guess I've been in a bit of a slump the last week or so, in case you couldn't tell. My dad, stepmom, and sister came to visit for a week in March. It was such an amazing week that it was hard to come back to site afterwards. The day they came to my site was actually the best day I've had this whole year. It was the first time I ever had to translate and that made me feel really good about my Spanish. (Even after a year, I still have good days and bad days with the language. And really bad days.) My community members were so awesome. The school put on a presentation for them and Eira's family cooked lunch for us. Just walking down the street and everyone shouting “Hola Abigail!” and wanting to meet my family made me feel so integrated. We also spent time at the beach and in Panama City and they got to meet Jen and Leah.

Which brings me to some sad news. Leah ET'd. ET means Early Termination, one of those Peace Corps acronyms that we turn into a verb. She ET'd means she quit and went home. While it was the right decision for her and she's very happy about it, it was hard to see her go. She, Jen, and I were a pretty tight trio. Plus, she was the first one in our group to ET (a record, I think – most groups have people leave during the first few months), so to see someone actually do it was hard. I think ETing is always in the back of volunteers' minds, especially in the beginning and on bad days, but to see someone actually do it made it real. A real option. It makes you stop and think, “What am I really doing here?”

The new school year is off and running. This week is making me feel pretty optimistic about it. At first I felt discouraged because all of my teachers from last year left and I have three new teachers this year. (Because of the way the Ministry of Education works, teachers move around a lot.) In certain ways I'm starting all over again from zero. I have to build relationships all over again before really getting down to trying to improve their teaching methods. But on the other hand, I'm in such a different place than I was last year. I'm so much more confident with my Spanish, my teaching knowledge, and my role here. They're the new ones coming on to my turf. So I think this year will go well. Especially since two of them actually speak English! And one of them thinks using activities in the classroom is a good idea! Woo hoo!

So I'm coming out of my slump. I've gotten back into my workout routine – endorfins help. My school got internet, so I can communicate with people more. (Though I'm not sure how internet is going to help the room full of typewriters.) I'm beginning some secondary projects so my whole life doesn't revolve around the school. An entire year ahead of me looks daunting, but I'll make it through.